Trying to explain, and trying and trying and trying

A Cry For Justice

Lyrics

Audrey Assad’s “I Shall Not Want” is to Ellie as “Eye of the Tiger” is to Rocky Balboa. Every line of that song has come to life for me in this ordeal. The second stanza, which speaks of wanting others to understand, is the part I’m really thinking about today. And deliverance has come and is coming for me in this area. I am so grateful.

I thought I could explain things to X’s allies and they would understand. I wanted them to understand, to help me, to help HIM! They didn’t and they won’t without God’s intervention. This explaining played a part in keeping me trapped, even after I had left X. I saw X as trapped and needing help. I thought he had become something he didn’t want to be and he needed his friends and family to help him see that and help him turn away. And…

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Easter – A Conflict of Emotions

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all” ~ Leo C. Rosten.

Together We Heal

For many of us who were raised in a religious setting, but also endured childhood sexual abuse at the hands of someone in the ministry, this time of year can be a conflict of emotions. For me, there was a time when I abandoned the organization that I felt had abandoned me and my fellow survivors. Unless it was a wedding or a funeral, I wouldn’t darken the doors of any church, synagogue, etc. I would even go so far as to say, for a time, I held God responsible for what happened to me and had genuine feelings of hatred toward the church and God.

It wasn’t until I had spent many years working with a therapist and in a group therapy setting, that I realized it wasn’t the fault of God that what happened to me happened. However, the churches failure to take action, support those of us…

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Reflections of Grace Blog

My journey led me into the valley,

Dark menacing storm clouds,

Crippling fear,

Darkness and gloom,

Travail and agony,

Desperation and brokenness.

Totally spent,

Nothing left to give.

A path that must be crossed over

To get to the other side….

Is there another side?

Emptiness……

Pushing

Across the river of emptiness

With shattered lives.

Somewhere in the darkness

Of questioning and doubt.

I find Him

Hands outstretched,

Love emanating from His being.

How did I get here, Lord?

 

How does one go about living when everything they believed in no longer exists?  Everything familiar in my life was gone.  My husband, my church family, and my belief system that I thought held me together all those years — it was all gone.   I found it interesting that the people who had been my friends for so many years in the church building I attended didn’t contact me after…

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